Pain
by sugoisakaki
Summary: This story is on hold. I will update it as soon as things slow down in my life. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.
1. Summary & Prologue

_**Pain**_

_**An Azumanga Daioh Fan Fiction by sugoisakaki**_

**_WARNING: _ **This story contains gore/violence and adult themes; discretion is advised. Rated M.

SUMMARY: Kaorin has had a massive crush on Sakaki for over two years now, and although she hides it very poorly, the one thing that no one seems to realize is her private pain over her own emotions and feelings.

PROLOGUE:

Kaorin was a young girl in the prime of her life; the picture of beauty, and a golden personality to match. She was kind with anyone she spoke with, and she always tried to warm up to people when the opportunity arose. It seemed that she was the girl that would be the envy of all.

The operative word, of course, was should. Kaorin, although good-natured and kind, was a quiet person who only spoke when she was spoken to—because of this, she never made any more than one friend during her first two years of high school: one Chihiro, who was also a quiet girl. The closest level of fellowship anyone else who spoke with Kaorin would end up developing was that of mere acquaintanceship. Even with Chihiro's place in Kaorin's life, she rarely even spoke to her.

Home life wasn't any better—Kaorin was quiet with everyone but her parents, who she constantly battled and argued with over trivial issues that one would normally blow off. Because of this, Kaorin felt that she didn't have anyone in the whole world who cared about her.

So high school life dragged on and on for Kaorin, day in and day out, in the same monotonous pattern: get up, get dressed, go to school, go home, eat supper, and go to sleep. It was enough to make her want to scream, but there was one sole factor that kept her going from day to day, and that was her admiration of a fellow classmate:

Sakaki.

TO BE CONTINUED!


	2. Chapter 1

_**Pain**_

_**An Azumanga Daioh Fan Fiction by sugoisakaki**_

**_WARNING: _ **This story contains gore/violence and adult themes; discretion is advised. Rated M.

CHAPTER 1:

Kaorin anxiously stood by her foot locker at school, her hands folded and resting over her torso. Today was a day that had been plaguing her for over one month, and if one counted events in a more long-term fashion, one could say that she had been brooding over this thought for over two years. Today was the day that she planned on confessing to Sakaki, the girl that she had developed a raging crush on during her first year, and it had only worsened as the weeks, months and years flew by her.

However, she had finally made the decision over her second summer break to confess to her object of desire, and see what she had to say. It was killing Kaorin—she at least had to hear Sakaki speak those magic words that would make everything in her messed up universe come together in harmonious unification:

"I love you."

"Oi, Sakaki!"

"Un."

Sakaki was walking down the hallway of the school towards the foot lockers after looking at new class assignments when she was suddenly joined by her self-appointed rival, Kagura.

"Sakaki, don't you feel sorry for poor Kaorin; switched into a homeroom with that lecherous pervert, Kimura?"

Sakaki nodded her head in agreement, but her face showed an apathetic attitude. "It's too bad that it had to happen that way, but what difference could it possibly make to me; one who doesn't even know her very well?"

Kagura audibly gasped at the taller girl's dense comment, and immediately jumped in her face. "DAMMIT, SAKAKI! You should know by now that she has a major crush on you!"

Sakaki slightly blushed at such a thought, but quickly regained a straight face. "She has a crush on me?"

Kagura face-faulted into the floor, nearly leaving an imprint. "OF COURSE SHE DOES! Why does everyone notice this but you!"

Sakaki had once again completely adopted her common poker-face; she spoke with a cold tone. "I could possibly care less about that girl—if she has a crush on me, she's obviously way too immature to even know her own emotions!"

"I...Is this t...true, S...S...Sa...Saka...Sakaki?" came a timid, scared, and deeply depressed voice from the foot locker area.

Kagura gasped, and looked behind her to see Kaorin standing not more than one meter in front of her and Sakaki, her face ghostly white, and eyes looking as if someone had just stuck a knife into her stomach.

Sakaki followed Kagura's gaze, and noticed that Kaorin had heard the whole latter part of the conversation between her and Kagura. Kagura turned to look at Sakaki, then growled at her in disgust. However, inside her mind she was screaming at Sakaki with fury: 'You've done it now, you goddamned reticent lone wolf!'

Kaorin didn't wait for a response, but instead just rushed out of the building, and all the way back to her house. She burst into the front door, and ran into the bathroom, tears falling down her face like Niagara Falls.

She pounded the vanity with fury and angst. "I should have figured that Sakaki didn't give a shit about me; no one has ever given a shit about me! My parents, who were nice enough to take a long business trip, and my so-called acquaintances—even Chihiro doesn't give a damn whether I was alive or dead!"

She fell forward on the vanity, her head resting on the hard porcelain, crying and bawling loud enough to wake the dead. It was beginning to become too much for her to take—between her sour relationship with her parents and her lack of a social life, Kaorin was a psychological mess that was sinking faster than a ship blown wide open on a 500-meter deep sea.

Suddenly, Kaorin put her hands on the vanity, and stood up with urgency. She had a look in her eyes that could kill Medusa and every single snake that was alive on her immortal head. With tears still streaking her face,she opened the medicine cabinet, took out her father's spare razor, and quickly slashed it across both her wrists several times, wincing slightly from the pain.

Kaorin then slowly walked over to the toilet, where she sat down and leaned back, eyes closed. "I'm done with this world and all of the assholes in it!" Kaorin mumbled to herself as blood spilled onto the floor from her cuts. Slowly, her breathing became slower and somewhat more labored.

'This is it,' she thought. 'Within two minutes it will all be over; the pain that has filled me for so long will fall into eternal Hellfire. Goodbye, cruel world!'

"IT GODDAMN FIGURES! WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO ACT SO DAMN COOL ALL THE TIME!"

Kagura was literally shoving Sakaki toward Kaorin's house, with Sakaki putting up no resistance to the athlete's actions; she knew that she was in the wrong, and the sooner she apologized to Kaorin, the sooner she could get back to school, no longer having to worry about the quiet girl's safety.

When they arrived, Kagura knocked on the front door, then kicked it in with a karate move. She ran all over the house, dragging Sakaki in tow with her. Eventually, they both made it to Kaorin's bedroom. Kagura kicked in the door, and rushed in, looking all over for Kaorin.

Sakaki, in the meantime, decided to search the bathroom across the hall, knowing all too well what had crossed her own mind when too many people had called her "cool" too many times in one twenty-four hour period. Opening the door, she found Kaorin slumped backwards over the toilet, with a pool of red blood covering the white tiled floor.

"KAGURA! CALL AN AMBULANCE IMMEDIATELY—KAORIN'S CUT HERSELF!"

"WHAAAAAT!" Kagura shrieked from across the hall. She rushed over to Kaorin's bedside table, and picked up her phone, from where she immediately dialed 1-1-9.

"Moshi-moshi? Kyuu-Kyuu desu..."

TO BE CONTINUED!

A/N: In Japan, there are two emergency service numbers, and they work nationwide (a lot like 0-0-0 does in Australia, or 9-1-1 does in both the United States and Canada): for the police, you dial 1-1-0, while the one you dial for both fire AND ambulance is 1-1-9. In the case of 1-1-9 where one number serves two services, when you are asking for a fire truck, you say "Kaji desu," but if you want an ambulance, you say "Kyuu-kyuu desu." Also, when one uses the telephone, one greets the other party with "Moshi-moshi," rather than "Konnichi-wa." Visit http/cnx. for more information relating what one does when calling for the fire department or an ambulance in Japan.


	3. Chapter 2 SAKAKI FLASHBACK

_**Pain**_

_**An Azumanga Daioh Fan Fiction by sugoisakaki**_

**_WARNING: _ **This story contains gore/violence and adult themes; discretion is advised. Rated M.

A/N: I figured that it would be a good idea to explain just why Sakaki isn't acting only reticent lately, but jaded as well. We all know that Sakaki, although she hides it well (unlike Kaorin), is probably the second-most emotionally sensitive and unstable people in the whole series. Therefore, putting Sakaki in a situation with Kaorin makes for great Angst Literature, but it needs to be backed up in order for Sakaki not to seem out of character. I hope to do just that in this, my latest chapter, in which we look at the events that occurred during Sakaki's most recent summer vacation (that's right—it's flashback time)!

FLASHBACK 1 (CHAPTER 2)--Kagura and the Wolf:

The second day of the Summer trip to Chiyo-chan's seaside house started out with a beautiful sunrise over the Sea of Japan. So beautiful was the sight that anyone who could see it would have easily understand why Japan is known as "The Land of the Rising Sun"; surely there was nothing better in the world than watching that old, majestic orange sphere rise over such a blue body of water as the Sea of Japan.

However, it seemed many of the tourists or residents were taking their source of livelihood for granted that morning—either they were sleeping in, or they were watching the early-morning NHK News via satellite dish within their cozy seaside cabins. There were only two souls on the beach that morning, and they were both high-schoolers.

"WOW! I do think that there is nothing better than watching the sunrise, no matter where one may be in Japan!"

"Un."

Kagura and Sakaki were both sitting at the oceanfront, watching the sun crawl into the morning sky centimeter by centimeter. It was Kagura's idea, for she not only wanted to see the sun that she was so transfixed with rise into the sky, but she also wanted to speak with Sakaki about her reticent nature.

Kagura was, of course, the first person to speak up. "Oi, Sakaki!"

Sakaki replied cooly. "Hn?"

Kagura fought the incessant urge to bop the dense Sakaki on the noggin for her lack of attention. "Sakaki, you act so cool, but I know the truth!"

Sakaki gasped and blushed slightly. "Y...you do?"

Kagura sighed. "Yes, I do: you like cats, for one; whenever you see one, you blush like a tomato. Hell, you blush at anything that may or may not fit one's categorical description of cute!"

Sakaki blushed at Kagura's bluntness.

Kagura snickered. "See what I mean? You're blushing now!"

Sakaki's blush deepened even more.

"Not only that," Kagura continued, "but you aren't living up to your full potential at school; truth be told, you're living a lie! With such a cool-looking façade, you've got everyone including yourself confused about the real you!"

All of a sudden, as if someone had tripped a circuit breaker, the blush disappeared from Sakaki's face; now she was angry. "What gives you the right to tell me who I am or who I am not!"

Kagura was taken aback; she wasn't expecting this reaction. However, she tried to reason with her enraged friend. "Easy, girl—I just meant that..."

"'I just meant that...' nothing! Maybe I do like cats and such stuff, but I could care less about humans I don't know very well!"

Kagura couldn't help but smirk. "What about Kaorin?"

Sakaki did her best to keep from blushing; she had expected this kind of attack from Kagura. "I couldn't give a damn less!"

Kagura snickered again, while Sakaki decided to leave her for a walk down the beach alone.

As Sakaki walked down the beach, she was brooding inside herself. 'Oh, God—what am I going to do at school if I run into Kaorin?'

Sakaki blushed profusely at the thought, but quickly continued to move down the beach. 'I'll just have to avoid her, I guess,' Sakaki decided.

TO BE CONTINUED!


End file.
